


Godparents to the Rescue, Huh?

by Lia_Bolton



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, WandaVision (TV)
Genre: Agatha Harkness is Agnes, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Monica Rambeau, BAMF Pietro Maximoff, BAMF Wanda Maximoff, F/M, Gen, Godfather Ralph, Godmother Agnes, Good Agatha Harkness, Maximoff family feels, POV Pietro Maximoff, Pietro Maximoff-centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 16:14:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30058134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lia_Bolton/pseuds/Lia_Bolton
Summary: “Is he done?” Peter asks no one in particular, interrupting Vision’s rambling. “Because I am – look, neighbro, yes, we’resuresure. Now get out and do couply things, I promise we haven’t burnt down a house.” Wanda can swear that there’s an unsaid “yet”, at the end of his sentence, which admittedly isextremelykind of worrying.“We actually did bur-” Agnes starts, but Peter immediately runs to her side, closing her mouth as he chuckles nervously.---When Wanda and Vision asked him and Agnes to be the godparents of the twins, they accepted - because, come on, what's the worst that can happen?Little does he know, the answer is this. Plain and simple.Thisis the worst that can happen.
Relationships: Agatha Harkness & Wanda Maximoff, Ralph Bohner & Monica Rambeau, Ralph Bohner & Monica Rambeau & Agatha Harkness & Billy Kaplan & Tommy Shepherd, Ralph Bohner/Agatha Harkness, Wanda Maximoff & Ralph Bohner, Wanda Maximoff/Vision
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	Godparents to the Rescue, Huh?

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Rated T because of language and mild sexual humor.
> 
> I needed an everyone lives happily ever after fic, and then saw a comment thread (it's literally the first one lol) under this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4eGcLJAUpf8) video with great ideas and everyone wanted a fic, so here we are. 
> 
> A bit of info: 
> 
> Agnes is just Agnes, the noisy neighbour married with ~~Ralph Bohner~~ Peter Maxwell, and Peter Maxwell is the brother of Monica ~~Rambeau~~ Maxwell.
> 
> Peter Maxwell: Ralph Bohner because I refuse to call one of my characters that after that joke and this name has nothing to do with Peter Maximoff. _Nothing._  
>  Monica Maxwell: Her Hex-name Geraldine in no way suits Monica - and Maxwell, since she’s Peter’s sister.  
> Agnes Maxwell: Pretty self-explanatory.
> 
> And thank you for giving this fic a chance!

“I can’t do this anymore,” Wanda exclaims as she throws herself on the couch, burying her face in her hands.

Vision smiles tightly as he puts Billy in his crib, ignoring the loud cries of their sons as he sits next to her. He takes one of her hands into his and gently lifts her head by her chin. “Don’t worry darling, I’m sure they will get tired of this.” His shoulders drop when the twins finally _do_ get tired of crying, but not exactly in the way they want. Instead of sleeping, they start screaming-crying.

“…at some point?” Vision adds after a few seconds of listening to their cries.

“But they haven’t stopped crying for almost twenty hours – don’t they need sleep?” she asks frantically as she stands up. “Because mommy,” she points at herself, “ _does_ need sleep.” She suddenly stops, her eyes widening as she looks at Vision. “What if they are some sort of demons who don’t sleep at all and then they die because of sleep deprivation? Or maybe they are parts of the devil and not our kids? Or maybe-”

“They are perfectly fine children who don’t want to sleep?” Vision interrupts her with a soothing tone as he stands up and holds her hands.

Wanda looks him in the eye before she puts her head on his shoulder and hugs him. “I don’t know Vis, I’m just worried.” She looks at the twins again, sighing. They did nothing except crying for almost a day, and don’t really seem like they are going to stop anytime soon. Wanda wants to be as optimistic as Vision about all this, but everything is too weird, even for her. “I need a break, at least for a few hours.” she finally says.

Vision squeezes her shoulder sympathetically, and Wanda knows what he’s going to say before he opens his mouth. “I know, darling, but Billy and Tommy need their parents.”

“And said parents need some help,” she retorts as she runs a hand through her hair. Vision sighs and opens his mouth to answer, but the doorbell rings before he can say anything. They both eye the door, then each other, fully knowing who is behind the door.

“Hiya kids!” Agnes bursts into the house with an enthusiasm that exceeds Vision’s when he’s talking about their boys. There’s a glint in her eyes, kind of soothing and chaotic at the same time, she’s almost like a kid who collected a bag of candies on Halloween. Speaking of which, they have to get prepared for Halloween, it’s only a few days away. She bites her bottom lip in worry when she remembers that they don’t even have the candies and other ornaments, let alone the pumpkins. What if she and Vision are too much like sleep-deprived zombies when the day comes? What if Billy and Tommy never stop crying like someone eat the last cookie? What if-

She winces when Agnes drops her bag to the ground with a loud _thud_ , bringing her back to reality. “Hello, Agnes,” she beams at her, her energy suddenly back at the sight of the woman.

Vision looks back and forth at them before smiling and shaking his head, the tension between his shoulder blades easing. He greets Agnes with a nod, before looking around, obviously looking for someone. “Where’s Pe-”

“That’s _so_ lame,” Peter enters from the open front door as he rubs his eyes, unbelievably slow for someone with his abilities. “I can’t believe you made me wake up this early.” Wanda can’t help but notice that he looks sharp, despite his constant whining.

He looks sharp with a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt.

_How?_

And then there's Wanda who looks like... shit, for the lack of a better word - just because she hasn't slept for ~~thirty-six hours~~ years.

The lesson of the day: Sleep really does wonders. If only she was in her bed right now, cuddling with Vision...

Agnes just shakes her head as she laughs in response, and Wanda can’t help but snort at his antics. She still can’t believe how different yet similar at the same time these two are, between the energy of Agnes and the morning grumpiness of Peter.

“Guys, it’s eleven o’clock,” he says incredulously when no one, not even Vision supports him. “No one wakes up at eleven o’clock.”

“Except – well, everyone,” She points out as she makes a hand gesture, opening the curtains. They both look at her with something like fascination, despite witnessing her using magic millions of times.

Wanda unwillingly cringes as she remembers how they discovered her not-so-little secret a few days ago. She was at home with Vision in the middle of the day and was preparing dinner with the help of her magic. All was going well, at least before she looked at the window, seeing a) that she left the curtains open, and b) Peter and Agnes’ dumbfounded faces staring at her. Wanda simply tilted her head to the right, knowing that she has to do something, and she has to do it _now_.

With keeping that in mind, Wanda did the reasonable thing.

Which means that she stared right back.

After what feels like an hours’ worth of memorizing their faces, she somehow remembered what the hell had just happened. With her ability to think suddenly back, she tried to rewind the time like she always does when something gets out of control, but she could practically feel that her grasp over her magic had weakened. She tried to take it all over again anyways, but apparently, she was too shocked to do it properly.

Instead, she remembers the magic surging out of her, the only difference from the other times being that this time she couldn’t really control it. She just stood there and watched as it headed for Peter and disappeared right after it hit him in the span of moments, as if he absorbed the blast.

He then fainted.

She shudders despite herself as she remembers how awkward it was to explain that, _no_ , their husband/brother wasn’t dead to Agnes and Monica. That eventually led to her dramatic reveal about how unusual of a couple she and Vision are, letting the three Maxwells know about their superpowers.

Then Peter, being Peter, showed them something in return, namely _his_ new superpower. Wanda couldn’t believe her eyes when she watched him run as fast as _he_ did, leaving even the same trace behind. She doesn’t understand how this is possible; she’s not sure if she likes it.

But at least she’s sure that she likes Peter.

When the daylight hits his face, Peter immediately hides his eyes with his arms, “Sunlight,” he hisses, and ducks behind one of the cribs, much to their amusement. His regret immediately becomes evident in his face as he closes his ears with his hands. “Screaming babies,” he hisses again.

“What are you, a hotpire?” Agnes asks as she giggles, ignoring the exasperated looks of Wanda and Vision.

Peter looks up as a smirk finds its way to his face, and he might even have looked cool if he didn’t trip over his own foot trying to stand up. “This hotpire is hungry,” he says as if nothing happened, his eyes slowly shifting to the direction of Agnes’ neck. Vision reflexively gets in front of the boys’ cribs, “shielding” them from the sexual tension that appeared out of nowhere.

Wanda shakes her arms frantically to distract them “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” she interrupts in an attempt to help her husband and keep their sons’ souls pure. 

There’s also the fact that she really doesn’t want to see where this goes. 

“First, _hotpire_ , seriously?” she questions when Peter and Agnes finally stop giving lovey-dovey eyes to each other and look at her. She’s just one step away from tearing her hair off when they both shrug their shoulders unapologetically at the same time.

“Second,” Vision continues before taking Billy and Tommy -who are still crying- into his arms, “we’re kind of busy, you se-”

“They have been crying for hours, haven’t they?” Agnes asks as she leans onto Billy’s crib, as if Vision isn’t talking.

Vision freezes for a second, almost dropping Billy. “Oh, who told you that?” Wanda looks at him weirdly, not understanding what he’s trying to get at. Her gaze shifts to Billy and Tommy after a couple of moments spent searching his face, only to find nothing abnormal. It’s only when she looks at her boys that she notices that their cries became less vocal, and a smile spreads on her face as she lets out a small sigh of relief.

Agnes scowls before pointing at her ear, “My ears,” she says as if it’s obvious (it _is_ , actually), smiling proudly when she gets chuckles from all of them. “Anybabes, we can absosurely look at these little gentlemen while you two have some couple time.” She offers as she nudges Wanda playfully, and her face lights up with happiness at the thought of some no-baby time.

“Maybe that isn’t a great i-” Vision starts, but Wanda gently puts a hand on his arm and looks him in the eyes, almost pleadingly.

“Come on Vis, it’s just a few hours – and we didn’t make them the godparents for no reason, did we?” she asks, grimacing when she looks at Peter doing something that suspiciously looks like he’s having a seizure to make Agnes laugh, and Agnes who _seriously_ goes along with it.

“Actually, now you said it…” Vision starts without tearing his eyes from the two, “why did we make these two the godparents again?”

“Because,” Wanda answers as she gives him a tight smile, stretching the last letter. “We like them, they are our neighbors, they are the only ones who know about our little secret, and I somehow gave Peter superpowers.”

Vision presses his lips together and shakes his head like he’s looking at a hopeless case, and Wanda-

Wanda can’t help but agree.

“Do you-” he asks, his eyes glued on Peter and Agnes who are kissing, just like Wanda's. “Do you think we are out of our minds?”

“I,” she shakes her head without tearing her gaze from the sight and snorts, “have no idea.”

“You two,” Agnes says as she holds them both from the shoulders and takes them to the door. “Out.”

“Are you sure you guys will be alright?” Vision asks while he puts a foot between the door and the doorframe, trying to take a look inside to see the twins. Even though she agrees with him deep down, she still gives him a look, telling him to drop it.

“Defisurely,” Agnes answers as she smiles widely and shuts the door in their face.

Wanda smiles at Vision and grabs his hand, and points in front of her with the free one. She is pretty sure that there’s a place they can sleep here, or at least desperately hopes there is. 

"Let's go!" she says enthusiastically, tugging at his hand. When Vision doesn't move, she frowns and looks up, only to see him shooting her an apologetic smile. And she-

She _knows_ that look. 

Before she has the chance to do anything, he walks through the wall, into their home. She throws her head back and groans in exasperation, because, seriously? At this point, she really isn't sure if it's her or Vision that needs to relax.

Now she thinks of it, she actually does.

It's definitely Vision.

She sighs as she looks around to see if anybody is around to witness what just happened, or what's going to happen. When she’s sure there’s no one, she opens the door with a little flick of her wrist and gets in.

“Are you _sure_ sure?” she hears Vision asking. “I mean, they can get a bit too grumpy sometimes, you know? And their mealtime is close, maybe we should just-” Honestly, with all his anxiety and nervousness, that man is going to be her death.

Not that she would complain if that were to happen.

“Is he done?” Peter asks no one in particular, interrupting Vision’s rambling. “Because I _am_ – look, neighbro, yes, we’re _sure_ sure. Now get out and do couply things, I promise we haven’t burnt down a house.” Wanda can swear that there’s an unsaid “yet”, at the end of his sentence, which admittedly is ~~extremely~~ kind of worrying.

“We actually did bur-” Agnes starts, but Peter immediately runs to her side, closing her mouth as he chuckles nervously. Wanda freezes, because what did she just say? All four of them eye each other with shock for a moment before Agnes bellows with laughter, causing all of them to crack up, easing the awkward tension.

“F-fine,” Vision reluctantly gives in when they manage to stop laughing hysterically, that big smile she loves plastered on his face. Panting, like all of them, he gently grabs her hand after stealing one last glance from the twins. She takes a deep breath of relief when they reach the door, seeing that the newfound carefree expression of his is still apparent. Wanda smiles brightly at him, but Vision turns around after a couple of seconds.

Okay, maybe she spoke too soon.

He looks at the pair, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. “But you’re really sure that you’re sur-”

“ _Oh my god._ ”

Peter shuts the door in their faces.

**Author's Note:**

> Something I want to talk about is that Agnes is as old as she looks in this fic, which is early to mid-thirties for me (Kathryn Hahn can’t be a day over thirty-five, change my mind). Because I again refuse to ship someone in his late twenties with someone (at least) four hundred years old. It’s like shipping a hundred-year-old with a seven-year-old. It’s like this is getting so fucking gross and creepy so I’m just gonna stop.
> 
> Um, anyways, hope you enjoyed this <3


End file.
